Kaila Jo

"Cast all your anxieties on Him for He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7
     A few days ago, I got to meet my newest niece, Kaila Jo. She was born Saturday, August 10th at 9:02 a.m. after a 21-hour labor. My remarkable sister-in-law, Kendall, pushed 20 minutes and Kaila arrived!
     As I’ve said before, I pray diligently for friends and family who tell us of their anticipated children because we know things don’t always go as planned. Our family prays for the unborn child and mom from the time we hear a new baby is on its way. I don’t ever feel settled until my mom lets me know the baby and mom are doing great, and all is well. Yesterday was no different.
     We heard that Kendall was going to be induced on August 9th…my birthday! I couldn’t wait to share a birthday with my niece! We realized that wasn’t going to happen later in the evening, but I didn’t sleep all that soundly since I would wake up looking for phone updates on Kendall’s progress throughout the night. Kaila did arrive on August 10th at 9:01 a.m. with some complications. She had swallowed a lot of amniotic fluid and was having problems. Kendall had her in her arms for seconds before she was taken to the NICU and put on a respirator and given antiobiotics. It was an excruciating time for Will and Kendall to say the least. I could only imagine the heartbreak of meeting your daughter and not getting that bonding time you’ve looked forward to for 9 months.
     It also brought me back to Taylor and all the anxieties, unanswered questions, fears, concerns, and grief that come when the unexpected delivery comes. I was reminded of many verses that sustained Mike and I through those difficult first days. In particular I kept thinking of this verse in 1 Peter about casting our anxieties on Him.
     We’ve just come back from 2 weeks in Canada where we spent lots of time fishing…casting. When I cast, I throw that line as far as I can to catch the biggest fish I can. It isn’t like you drop your line, no…you cast it out FAR. I kept thinking of “casting my cares” for Kaila and for all I hang on to everyday out to the Lord. I kept picturing throwing all these anxieties onto the Lord because He cares for us. He knows us better than we know ourselves, and He knows His plans for us which are good. It is a huge comfort throwing my anxieties on Him. I don’t want them. I want them as far from me as possible. I want to rest in the care God has for me and get rid of anxiety which can be paralyzing.
      Kaila is home with Will and Kendall. They brought her home with them, something unimaginable at the beginning. The doctors said it was a miraculous turnaround that happened those first 24 hours. I am so grateful for God’s miracles. I am so grateful for this little girl and for the future plans He has for her. Congratulations Will and Kendall! Welcome Home Kaila Jo!

"Maybe the Lord will bless me with..."

I always love summer...that's an understatement! I'd love to shout it out from rooftops...I LOVE SUMMER!!! As a part-time teacher, summer comes with so many rewards. Recently, Taylor and I were discussing how much more relaxed summer is. We were talking about how hard homework can be for both of us since it just takes a LOT of time with the brailled pages, making sure we have all the work in braille, finding the right places in the textbook, balancing the books with her brailler and braille paper...it is a LOT of work. Taylor has always done an amazing job of keeping up with her regular classroom work, including homework, though it does take us longer and can create some stress around our house in the evenings. Taylor was thanking me for learning braille and helping her with her work all the time..."even when you're not always so patient, Mom." Ouch. So true. Then she got real quiet and was thinking. I asked what she was thinking about. She asked, "How am I going to help my children with their homework? I can't even read it or find the right pages for them." I was choking back a few tears, so I couldn't answer, but then Taylor burst forth. "Mom, maybe the Lord will bless me with a blind child! Then I could help them with everything!" Wow! Out of the mouths of babes. Talk about a sweet paradigm shift. Taylor's comment made me think of the sweet gift it is to learn how to be the best Mom I can to be to each of my girls. Each one is so unique and needs totally different things at different times. What a treasure to think of the blessing it is to grow and learn alongside them.

Lauren's Birthday- Part 2

"A friend loves all times."  Proverbs

This year has been interesting for friendships for Lauren.  She definitely has been through some of the "growing pains" of middle school girl friendships.  Some of the girls she's known for years have formed their own new relationships or are becoming closer knit without knitting in some of the elementary school girls.

It's been hard for Lauren, but it's much harder for her parents.  It's one thing to watch it happening.  It's quite another to hear your child express their sadness and grief over changing relationships.  A few weeks before Lauren's birthday, her dearest friends from Kindergarten moms...follow that?...asked me if they could bring their girls over on Lauren's birthday and surprise her with balloons, cinnamon rolls, and presents for her birthday.  What a gift!  I was beyond ecstatic to see my girl honored on her special day by the girls who have stuck by her side always.  This picture says it all!

Thank you Wendy and Lori.  Thank you girls. The gift goes far beyond just Lauren.  It's a gift to the whole family to see your child honored and blessed, cherished, and appreciated.

This is how the Lord must feel when He sees His children treat each other with lovingkindness.  Let me do this more.

Happy 12th Birthday, Lauren!

Lauren's 12th Birthday hit me in ways I wasn't expecting.  This girl has always amazed me.  She is an athlete, scholar, special sister, daughter, and friend.  She's just an amazing PERSON!  This year Mike and I decided it was time to get her her own cell phone.  Now, she may not be the only middle schooler without a phone, but she probably is the only middle schooler without a phone, iTouch, iPod, iSomething...  It was time to give this responsible young lady her own phone.  (Plus if you read her persuasive essay from Christmas time, you'd have to give it to her too!)

While at the store buying the phone, I was super excited thinking of how excited Lauren would be.  I didn't think I would get emotional...I mean really...Mike and I were at the PHONE STORE!  I got totally choked up while getting Lauren her phone...seriously, I did.  I wasn't expecting to realize what this phone actually symbolized.  It symbolized her first true steps toward complete independence.  I am excited about seeing my little girl grow up, but I just don't think I am quite ready to let her go...even if it starts with a phone.  I totally sympathized with Mike when he said, "I wish we could bottle Lauren up right here and keep her from growing up."  I just adore this girl for who she is.

She got the phone and has loved it!  Mike wrapped it up in a bag.  As she was opening the bag, he called her phone.  It was ringing, and the surprise on her face was priceless!

A Mother's Love

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!"  1 John 3:1a

Recently, a couple of incidents involving our older daughter, Lauren, and her softball really sparked an understanding of God's love for me, His child. 

First I have to post a disclaimer that the two incidents really do seem to contrast each other, but hey, nobody's perfect!  The first one involves paying Lauren for her awesome performance, and the second is understanding that my love for Lauren isn't dependent upon her performance... conflicting I know!

So the first "a-ha" came as I was handing Lauren the last dollar bills out of my wallet for her amazing homerun and extraordinary catch in the outfield.  It was going to be a few days before any more money would be deposited into our account, but I handed that cash over to her with great joy.  It was such a pleasure giving her the last of what I had, what I was counting on for a lunch date with a friend, and what seemed like precious cash.  It dawned on me as Mike and I were struggling that this is exactly how happy the Lord is to lavish His blessings upon His children.  Those blessings come in so many different forms, but the joy HE gets from heaping gifts upon His children is magnified from what we experience here on Earth.  Of course, the greatest gift is in the gift of His Son so we can have eternity with Him where there are no concerns, frets, anxieties, sadness, fears, disappointments as we experience it here on Earth. 

The second sweet moment came in the midst of a disappointing game for Lauren.  She had a rough game where some pivotal moments just did NOT go her way. She was so down on herself and was blaming herself for so much.  (She has pretty high expectations for herself, and is really tough on herself.  This is for sure an area we work on with her.)  As I watched my daughter's shoulders slump, her eyes brimming with tears, her confidence completely gone, and her hope diminishing, I kept thinking, "Lauren, if only you could see my heart and how much it adores you.  I don't care how you perform.  My love for you is unchanging!"  It then seemed as though the Lord was saying the same things to me, "Kim, I have never cared how well you perform. I love you always!  I love you the SAME always!  My love for you is unconditional.  I loved you enough to die for you when you didn't even know me." 

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us!

I am NOT Special Ed

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"  Luke 6:41

Several times over the last years Taylor has come home telling us about the fun times she's had in the "Special Ed Room."  She's had several group sessions for Occupational Therapy and Adaptive P.E. in this classroom of several moderate to severe autistic children and others with communicative handicaps.  They are awesome kids!!!

We've asked more recently if Taylor realizes she is "special ed."  We explained what it means and that many children are labeled special education because of their special needs.  Taylor was adimant that she is NOT special ed.  It's been comical in many ways because it is just so obvious to everyone else that she truly is special ed if there ever be a kid in that category! 

This past weekend we had our dear friends over for dinner.  Their daughter Hanna is Taylor's best friend and had the same kind of negative reaction when she overheard other students pointing out that Taylor is "Special Ed."  Apparently, the negative stigma is pretty heavy! 

Then I started thinking about the whole "plank idea."  How many times do I miss the obvious in my own life because I am so concerned about others?  I really do want to own up to my own faults and shortcomings to see God change me from the inside out.  I love being "Special Ed!" 

GPS

Grand Pop Spanky is probably not the name most grandkids would call their grandpa, and I'm pretty sure most grandparents wouldn't even consider it...from what I hear, my dad actually gave himself this nickname.  One thing I do know is how much Grandpop Spanky is loved!

Yesterday we celebrated Dad's 68th birthday, and I woke up feeling a little emotional about it.  I am so thankful for my dad, for the years I grew up in a fun, loving, fun-loving, awesome home filled with not only my own seven siblings, but pretty much the neighborhood as well.  My mom and dad went out of their way to make sure everyone felt loved and welcomed in our home. 

I feel like we have been given a second chance with my dad because six (or maybe it's even seven) years ago, my dad was diagnosed with multiple myeloma.  He was told years later that had he not responded so well to the chemo, he wouldn't have had many weeks to live.  Thankfully, God answered the many prayers we all had for my dad's response to those meds and for his recovery.  There are many prayer warriors out there who we don't even know by name, but who were praying for my dad.  Thank you!

I realized yesterday that the relationship my daughters have with their grandpop is nothing short of AMAZING!  Their grandpop is amazing, and the things he stops his world for revolve around his family.  What's awesome is that in the last six years, our family has literally doubled in size.  Four of the eight siblings have gotten married, and there have been four more grandchildren added with a fifth on the way.  Literally...exactly double the numbers before Dad's diagnosis.  What I marvel at is how even though there are double the people, the love factor is exponential...and infinite. 

Thank you, Dad, for teaching your children and grandchildren the power of loving your family well.  Happy Birthday!