Patience PLEASE

1 Corinthians 13:4-7  "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

      I promised to take Taylor on the bus one day during Easter Vacation.  It's a big deal because this is how Taylor is going to get around for much of her future...that is if she can't convince her sister to take her around and earn some gas money...
     I had this crazy realization as I was tapping my fingers, checking out my phone, and looking every 2.5 seconds for the bus to come.  (We happened to be about 15 minutes early!)  Taylor's entire life will be about patience.  She'll have to wait for someone to pick her up, drop her off, wait for someone to give her directions, wait for someone to help her out...wait wait wait wait wait.  Then wait some more. 
      Taylor is really good at being patient, and she's really good at taking her time.  I am NOT!  I want to move fast, get there fast, do hundreds of things up until the last second, then push the limits of time but relish in being there right on time with my to-do list checked off.  Sitting with Taylor and seeing how bad I am at waiting made me realize I am not helping her out for the future by satisfying my own instant gratification problems.  I am also realizing that patience helps me listen better.  I had a blast listening to Taylor and having some fun conversation with her.
   Of course, I also see how patient God is with me, but that's another entry for another day!

Waiting for the bus...practicing patience

We have reached our destination! Just a bustrip away

Bev's Prayer Mat

     My mother-in-law, Bev is an amazing prayer warrior!  She was so sick for about 4 months, and the doctors finally figured it all out after a few days in the hospital and pumping her with lots of different medications, followed by lots of medications at home.  One of the things I found out while helping her around her house was that she has had a prayer mat for years...in fact, the same prayer mat for years! 
     I looked on her table and saw this gardening mat.  It was worn so badly that I just had to inquire about it.  She told me it was her prayer mat and that she used it almost every day during her prayer time.  She was feeling badly that she hadn't been able to physically get down on her needs most days these last few months.  The most amazing thing about this is that Bev has suffered with rheumatoid arthritis for most of her life.  I never dreamed of her being on her knees every day.  I knew she prayed for us, for others, for the church prayer requests, for any requests people make known to her, but I never realized she physically got down on her knees.  It blew me away.
     I also got to thinking about each of the crevasses and creases I saw in that mat, and realized each one stood for a person or people and their needs brought to her attention.  I was humbled because I knew that mat had my name on it.  It had Mike's name, Lauren's and Taylor's.  It had the names of several family members who we had prayed for and who Bev prayed for.  It also had the answers to prayers upon that mat.
     Bev got me my own prayer mat.  I hope it's as worn as hers one day!

 
    

Happy Birthday, Taylor!

     Today Taylor turned 11!  Today was awesome in so many ways.  I got to hang out with the Birthday Girl for much of the day, teaching art in her class and having lunch together.  After school, we went to Lauren's softball game which also happens to be one of Taylor's favorite things to do. She kept saying, "This is the greatest birthday ever!" throughout the day.  What joyous words to hear for a mom.
     One of Taylor's latest talents is being able to call balls and strikes, high and low pitches, pitches in the dirt and over the catcher's head strictly from listening to where the ball is caught (or not).  It's incredible...and she's nearly always right.  Tonight was no exception, and it got me thinking.  What if I was that in tune with the Lord's voice?  What if I could decipher His voice that clearly?  What am I doing to be more in tune with Him all day long?  Tonight was a great lesson for me.
     After the game, Taylor got to experience the catcher's gear first hand.  She couldn't get over how heavy it was and how much work it was to get it on and off all game long.  She asked questions about why it was needed and what each piece was for.   This got me thinking too.  I have to get my equipment and gear ready for the fast balls, curve balls, and change-ups of life.  That would come in the form of putting on the whole armor of God in Ephesians.  Now I'll definitely think of His armor as our catcher comes out prepared for each inning.

"Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,  and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.  In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.  Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." Ephesians 6:11-17

Volumes of Growth

  

      I took this picture a couple days ago when Taylor's second copy of her Brailled math book arrived for us to lug home. The two boxes filled with braille volumes is the same content included in the purple text book. (It was ordered in June last year, so it took a little while.  Luckily, the school's copy was there for her to use beginning in September.)    I looked at this photo in a whole different light after a few minutes.  This picture symbolizes the growth I've made since Taylor's birthday nearly 11 years ago.
     The sheer immensity of the volumes and volumes of books can be overwhelming as I look at it compared with the print version Lauren in holding in her hands.  I realize since Taylor's birthday, I have grown by volumes!  I have also had to "lug" some lessons around.  It isn't easy and sometimes feels overwhelming.  It can't be carried all at once.  I have to learn a little bit at a time or I become paralyzed with fear.  I need help carrying the load all the time, and I have been blown away by the support team God's given me in Mike, our family, and friends.  Just like the learning that comes from opening each volume of that book, I am so grateful for Taylor and the crazy volumes of learning that come from our life with her.  Now, I hope that next year when we get the Braille home copies of the literature, math, social studies, and science books it isn't a representation of the amount of learning I'll be doing in one year!!!

Help Needed

     Mark 10:46-52 and Luke 18:35-43

     A few weeks ago I was feeling like I wanted to do more to help at church.  I have definitely made a shift from helping at church to helping with the girls' schools and activities, and it's been a perfect switch for the time.  I have missed being involved with the families of our church on a more regular basis.  The last few months have been awesome...Lauren, Taylor and I help out once a month with the 2 & 3 year-olds.  Taylor also brings her keyboard and sings worship songs for both this age group and the 4 & 5 year-olds.  How sweet it's been to serve alongside my girls and watching their gifts and talents being used for Jesus.
     So along came an email just as I was contemplating how I could get a bit more involved looking for someone who would come up with craft ideas to go along with our stories of the month.  I definitely thought this was right up my alley and something I'd be interested in doing, especially since I didn't have to gather the materials, make the sample or anything...just get the ideas together and put it on paper for someone else to follow.  Basically, I would be writing a short craft lesson based on Bible stories...exactly what I LOVE to do in the classroom every day with our reading stories!
     So, I emailed our Children's Director back and said I was interested.  Guess what the first story would be....Bartimaeus, the man who couldn't see!  WHAT?  Are you kidding?  No way!  I knew this was definitely my new place to help.  Not only was the timing right, the story touches my heart each time I read it. 
     Bartimaeus is about a blind man who hears the commotion as Jesus is coming near and yells out, "Jesus, Son of David have mercy on me!"  Everyone tells him to be quiet, but he shouts all the more...and louder!  He knew Jesus could heal him, and Jesus does indeed heal him.  The things I love about this story are that even though others told him to be quiet, Bartimaeus shouts all the louder to the One who could heal him.  I want to be shouting to the One who can heal me in all situations.  In the midst of the crowd, Bartimaeus hears Jesus's voice.  I want to hear Jesus in the midst of my crowded life.  In the midst of the crowd, Jesus hears Bartimaeus.  Jesus always hears me when I call.  Bartimaeus threw off his cloak and ran to Jesus when he couldn't see but followed His voice.  I can run to Jesus even when I am not clearly seeing the path He's laid out for me to follow.  And best of all, Bartimaeus's first sight is that of his healer...Jesus.  Jesus heals us on the inside and out.  Taylor's first sight will be Jesus.  Oh, how comforting and beautiful that is for me all the time.

Moms

     There have been many Mom-moments in my life the last few weeks.  I have seen some super exciting "ups" but have seen some sad "downs" these last few weeks with respect to different moms in my life.  It's made me realize how lucky I am to be a mom, to have my mom and my mother-in-law, special friends, sisters and sisters-in-law for lifelong friends and role models.
     Yesterday, I was invited to a "Celebration of Life" for a "Kindergarten Mom" as we called ourselves, a group of 6 moms who met when our children were in Kindergarten together.  (Those kids are now in seventh grade!)  This woman, Sue, fought lung cancer before succumbing to it after 9 years.  She used every single day of that 9 years to invest in her one and only son, Jake.  Her son knew his mom because of Sue's daily fight to give him one more day with his mom.
     This month, an incredible woman lost her one and only opportunity to become a mom when the surrogate chosen to carry their baby miscarried that unborn life.  This woman was Lauren and Taylor's 3rd grade teacher who has left her handprints all over my daughters' hearts.  She fought and won her battle with breast cancer, but she was diagnosed before she and her husband had children of their own.  I could not imagine a greater mom than Mrs. Edwards.  She mothers over 30 students each day, and she brings life into the classroom with her creativity stemming from the amazing things her mom taught her.
     I do not claim to understand the whys of this world, and often times, it's all I can do to put one foot in front of the other so I don't think too long and hard about the sufferings of others.  That is when I become paralyzed in my own functioning.  I do know these two women have made me appreciate my own daughters that much more.  I am grateful I get to spend time with them, grateful I get to learn about parenting and more about life in general because of them.  I am thankful for my own mom and the unbelievable memories we have together throughout my entire lifespan.  I am thankful for my mother-in-law who has taught me so much and has treated me like her own daughter.  I want to seize opportunities with Lauren and Taylor like never before.  I want to be a mom they love, respect, have fun with, and one with whom they can share all their ups and downs.

Best Day Ever

    There's this amazing foundation called "The Best Day Ever Foundation."  The name truly speaks for itself!  This organization puts together a day for disabled youth that can be the youngsters' best day ever.  Taylor got to experience a day of paddle boarding, outrigger canoeing, swimming, and all-around goofing off with her sister and two volunteers.  There were more volunteers than participants, and it was spectacular. 
     There was one interaction between Taylor and the paddle board instructor that cracked our whole family up. 

     "Do you see those dogs in the water?"  asks the instructor.
     "No. I can't see them," replies Taylor.
     "Here.  I'll point them out to you."  Instructor points to them. "Do you see them now?"
     "No, I can't see."
     "Oh," he says.  "It's hard to see them anyways," finishes paddle board instructor who doesn't understand that Taylor really CAN'T see them...EVER because SHE CAN'T SEE!!!

     I was definitely left with a great lesson to learn.  I feel like often times there are those obvious things RIGHT there in my life that I just can't see.  More often, it's because I don't want to look or really don't want to see what's right there before me.  Other times, it's God pointing out things to me subtly at first and then a little more directed.  I also realize things that are so obvious to others are things I am just not seeing. The opposite is true too.  I think that is why we need one another.  God uses Himself, others, and us to work together to point out new things.  It's such a beautiful example of strong teamwork and working together to make each day The Best Day Ever.

 Brooks (her instructor) and Taylor on the paddle board.

 Taylor and Lauren with their special volunteers for the day