Happy 12th Birthday, Taylor!

Taylor's 12th birthday was one incredible day.  The last 12 years have been a gift.  The last 12 years with Taylor have taught me more than I could ever imagine- more love, more empathy, more trust, more joy, more pain, more victory, more defeat, more determination, more passion and compassion, more hope, more of who Jesus is and how He shows up when I need Him most...more more more.

The night of Taylor's birthday we sang a song in church called, "I will Look Up."  The words had so much meaning to me.  I have seen Jesus work in our lives through the ups and downs with the girls, particularly the challenges we've faced with Taylor and the breakthroughs.  I have had some anxieties about what is coming up for Taylor as she's getting older.  I am excited and scared at the same time.  I heard these words and was so comforted knowing I can look back and see all that God has done.  I KNOW He is faithful and will be the One to carry us through the upcoming milestones as well.

I will look up for there is none above you
I will bow down to tell you that I need you
Jesus, Lord of all
Jesus, Lord of all
I will look back and see that you are faithful
I look ahead believing you are able
Jesus, Lord of all
Jesus, Lord of All

 Taylor got her iPhone.  She wrote us a long, persuasive letter and read it to us the night leading up to her birthday.  She was convincing, and her line about "letting our little baby spread her wings and fly" had to be one of the best.  So here we go....spread your wings and fly (just not too far, Tay!)

Extraordinary

     This is a topic I think about a lot, and it's come up again this week for me.  I love that God takes ordinary people all the time in the Bible...ordinary but willing people...and does extraordinary things through them.  It shows that it is God at work, and that He longs and loves to use His creations to do remarkable things.  Many of those people were afraid to be the one God sent to do incredible things, but in the end they were willing.  Man oh man, do I want to be willing to do what God wants to do through me.
      I was reminded so much of this when I got an email from one of Taylor's support people.  She is what we call a "Case Manager," meaning she administrates all the details of Taylor's schedule and ensures Taylor has every tool she needs to succeed in the mainstream world.
     Miss Malia nominated Taylor for a leadership conference this summer.  (Taylor was even nominated for another one by her English teacher earlier in the year.)  I am overwhelmed when I think of these honors.What I realize is that some people see beyond Taylor's limitations to her endless possibilities.  That is exactly how I believe God sees us.  He knows we have limitations, but He sees so clearly the endless possibilities when we let Him take charge. 

Home Sweet Home

     I can say how excited I am to have Taylor home, but I don't know if she's excited to be home!  I picked her up last Saturday, hardly recognizing her since her hair was a "hot mess," the exact words from her adult supervisor.  Her hair was everywhere, her eyes were nasty with crud, and her pillow was gifted to Big Bear, and her smile...HUGE!!!  She had an amazing time as you can see from the email below she sent to the family.  I am so happy to have my girl back!

Dear Family and friends,
As most of you know, I went skiing on wednesday through saturday.  I am so excited I went!
For all who didn't get this, I will be sending this to my mother and she will forward this to you.

Wednesday

We got to Junior blind, and I was so excited.  It was amazing because I met a new friend named Sarahi (pronounced like sed-i-E.) Also, I met a boy named Aaron, another girl named Sierra but we called her C.  C., and another girl named Layla (another girl named Alexandra, too!) We played piano for a little bit, then we went to my cabin and hung out.  Then we went to sleep.
Thursday
 The next day, I had to pack.  Things kept on falling out of my backpack, so they sent someone to help me.  I had a breakfast of cheerios, and then we were off to the slopes!
 When we got there, a guy named Benson took over and took me on the slopes.  We practiced on the easy run, and he started off with the poles.  Then, he let go.  I was skiing and I was going down a hill, and I totally forgot how to slow down.  I was going too fast, so Benson had to slow me down.  Another guy came and walked past me shouting,
    "Speedster!" and it made me laugh.  After a lunch of samwiches and strawberries, we went back.  We went on another route called "Easy Street" and there was this re'y flat part that was painful because we had to shuffle our skis.  It was like mashed potatoes.  In the end, I never fell.
 Later, we had spaghetti (If you liked the sauce, you would have gone crazy for the stuff) served with garlic bread which was re'y good, and oranges, and to finish, a cupcake or a twinky.  Then we watched a movie and played cards, and then we went to sleep.
Friday

We woke up and had breakfast.  I had oatmeal biscuit kind of things.  They were pretty good.  Then we went out again.  I had two instructors this time named Hope and Matt.  They took me on "easy Street" again, and this time it was better.  Still, I held my former gloory of not falling.  The first time I went on the chairlift, one of my poles got stuck.  It was funny!
 After a good lunch of hot dogs, great watermellon, and awesome cantalope, we went back out on the most challenging runs that they let kids go on.  It was called "the Learning Curve" and it was re'y steep.
 I still never fell.  It was awesome, I never fell during the whole entire trip.  After watching another movie with audio discription, we played a game of "getto-oono" which meant that we made up rules as we went.  Then we went to sleep.
Saturday

After packing, we played cards in the car, slept for a little bit, and then came home.  It was a wonderful %trip.
Sincerely,
Taylor

Spreading Her Wings

     "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

     Last night was a tough night for me.  My mom and I dropped Taylor off at Junior Blind of America, an amazing organization that's been around for decades serving the blind.  We have been planning this 3-day ski trip for a couple of months, with Taylor's braille teacher encouraging us to let her try the trip out.  "It'll be great for her independence, Kim."  Since that's been our goal for the last few months, and since Taylor LOVES skiing, we agreed...reluctantly all along.  In fact, I confessed to Mike this morning that I'd signed her up hoping it would fill up before they got to Taylor's name on the list.  Not so...she was in. 
     We've had to put on the "happy, encouraging, dedicated parents, independence builders" faces so Taylor would not know our insecurities, our anxieties, our reservations, literally our fears because that's what they are.  They are OUR fears for our little girl.  It is so stinking scary to let your blind kid experience the world.  No matter what we say, no matter what others say, it's flat-out scary at times.  The key is not letting those fears inhibit your kid from experiencing life and life ABUNDANTLY!!!
     I really got to thinking about how God sees us, His Children.  He wants us to spread our wings and fly too.  He wants us to acknowledge our fears and give them over to Him.  He wants to see us soar.  He wants us to trust and believe everything He says is true which is SOOOO much easier said than done.  I want to trust and believe everything He says is true because in my head I know it is.  I just need my heart to follow and experience that peace that surpasses all understanding. 

"If we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot disown himself."  2 Timothy 2:13

 
     Today in my women's Bible study, we sang a familiar song with these lyrics:

I have a maker
He formed my heart,
before even time began
My life was in his hands

He knows my name
He knows my every thought,
He sees each tear that falls
and hears me when I call

I have a father,
he calls me his own
He'll never leave me,
no matter where I go

He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
and hears me when I call

     I nearly wept thinking through each word of this song.  He is hearing me when I am calling out to Him.  He hears Taylor's every call this week.  He is never leaving me, and He is never leaving Taylor.  He is seeing those tears of fear...and tears of pride.  I am so proud of this girl.  I am so proud of both our girls.  It is a blessing to see them grow and face fears head-on.  I am so thankful for the promises in these lyrics for the promises in my faithful God.  (And for 2:00 on Saturday, our pick-up time!!!)

 Sahari, Alex, Taylor, and Leila

Mom, Taylor, and Grandma (Oh so calm...not!)

                          

Hurdles

     "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."  Romans 12:12
     
     These last couple of months have given us lots of "Growth Opportunities."  We've seen a lot of family and friends going through so many gigantic hurdles.  Marriages crumbling, relational challenges, health challenges, cancer diagnoses and metastasizing cancer diagnoses,  jobs on the line for no apparent reason, crazy accidents.  Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with what others are going through, I feel like I can't keep it up.  Then I have to stop and realize I CAN'T keep it up. I can't understand why some people are in the middle of what they are going through.  I can't understand it.  I can't figure it out, and I can't fix it.
      When Mike and I say we are praying for you, we ARE PRAYING FOR YOU!!!  We are praying daily for you.  We are crying for you.  We are crying out to God for you.  We are hurting for you.  We are longing for strength, courage, encouragement, truth, peace for you and your family.  We are hoping for you, and in doing so reminding ourselves of the hope we have. A hope that promises all will be righted one day.  It's a hope that helps when nothing make sense.
      It's so hard to watch and feel helpless, but we aren't hopeless! 

Christian Christmas Conflict

JOY to the world the Lord has come!

     I LOVE Christmas!  LOVE IT!!!  This year was weird.  I love putting up all the decorations, but this year I couldn't wait until today to take them down and get back to "normal."  Normal?  Whatever that is!   I felt like Christmas came at me like a freight train, and I couldn't quite catch my breath to enjoy it.  I had a huge "aha moment" as we call them in teaching.
     As a Christian, we try so hard to keep Jesus the focus of Christmas, but truly I LOVE all the hustle and bustle of the season. I love the lights, the parties, the get-togethers, the shopping, the Christmas cards, the hoopla of it all.   I love giving gifts, and especially love it when I feel like I got the gift "right," that special gift that wasn't expected.   This year, I realized it's really tough for me to enjoy it all and not buy into the materialism of Christmas that I actually DO enjoy too.  I enjoy the buying and giving (though I hate the bank account part of that too).  I kinda figured that this is all part of what makes Jesus the reason for the season for me too.  I love showing people around us just how special they are to us. I love giving all the teachers that help Lauren and Taylor a special something to let them know we do really appreciate them.  It's really great when you feel like you get something that hits the mark too.  I had to stop second-guessing everything I was doing and simply enjoy the act of giving.  It is the best feeling.
     This year I also realized how much I want to focus... really laser-beam focus... on some special people next year.  I want the girls and I to make an event out of our Operation Christmas Child boxes and invite others to join us on that special project.  (This year Taylor kissed her box before dropping it off, saying, "I know they'll never see that, but I love this kid already.")  I want to make the single women we know feel honored and special with treasured gifts.  I want to help at a local Ronald McDonald House with a group of caroling children and bring a meal or two because this year I know a family at one in Michigan.  I've heard their story of how much RMH has given them a safe haven in an exhausting trial with their own 1-pound micro-preemie. 
     A highlight this year was watching Lauren and Taylor buy Mike and I a gift.  They had planned for 2 days with secret "meetings" and asked if I could take them to Starbucks.  When we went grocery shopping at Albertsons, they headed on to the Starbucks located inside the store.  I passed by at just the right time.  They were at the front of the line together...an 11 and 13-year-old handing over their own hard-earned money to the gal to buy Mike and I each a drink container with a gift card inside.  It literally brought me to tears, and they had no idea their mom was watching.  That was the first thing they wanted us to open Christmas morning.  I saw that it truly is more of a gift to give than receive.
Merry Christmas 2014!
  

Introducing Caroline Jane

"Be still and know that I am God."      Psalm 46:10

      Caroline is our newest niece born on December 9th.  She is a picture of perfection.  We got to meet her on the 11th, and it was the highlight of the week and who knew exactly how much of a highlight it would be.  It was also the beginning of some quiet time that needed to happen.
     We got to visit Caroline, Jess (my sister-in-law), Luke (brother), and 2 nephews.  It was awesome to be in their home, holding a precious and perfect newborn and seeing our nephews love on her, as well as rough around with us...awesome stuff to be in the superhero world with a 4 and 2-year-old since my daughters were more into the princess thing at that age.  We learned some cool stuff!!!
      Later in the week, Lauren got sick and we just had to stay at home...not what I thought I'd be doing the week before Christmas.  I am so thankful for the down time because we've gotten some crazy news this week...a dear college friend diagnosed with Stage 4 spine cancer.  She has 2 daughters as well.  Talk about being thankful for the time with Lauren on the couch this week to just be still.  We also learned of some close friends whose marriage needs big-time prayer.  I've gotten news of a highly influential teacher in Garden Grove and a father of 2 former students who have passed away, and other trials in our extended family and with friends.  I realized that Christmas stuff would get done but some visits had to happen first.  Time with people is far more important than some of the chaos I buy into this time of year...more on that soon...
     It's been a tough couple of weeks, but I realized the Lord gave us the sweetest time with Luke, Jess, and their family as a little token of what it means to slow down and appreciate what's important...life and life abundantly!!!  It's been dear and meant so much to us.

Caroline, with brothers Tyler (goofball :0)  and Charlie, Taylor and Lauren